Too many well-intended leaders are stuck beneath diminishing bosses. Diminishers trigger our emotional brain, which reacts faster and hijacks our rational brain leading to irrational actions.
So what’s the best strategy?
Some tempting ways people may deal with diminishers:
Confront them
Avoid them
Quit
Comply and lay low
Convince them you are right
Take HR action
Sometimes the best way out of a diminishing situation is to multiply up.
In this week’s newsletter and Learning to Lead Live we discussed 3 strategies you can use to deal with diminishing leaders, and multiply up.
STRATEGY 1: Defense Against Diminishers - There are little adjustments you can make in your day-to-day interactions
Turn down the volume: Refrain from responding to everything and turn up the volume of other supportive leaders and colleagues
Strengthen other connections: Build your circle of influence and invest in your connections to others
Retreat and regroup: When facing demands or difficult situations ask for time to think through your ideas and come back with a plan, this also allows cool off time for both of you
Send the right signals: Provide updates on progress which builds confidence in getting things done
Assert your capability: Deliver on deadlines to build trust and confidence
Ask for performance intel: Ask for feedback that can keep your accomplishments, contributions, and capabilitoes front and center
Shop for a new boss: Ask yourself if this is the right place for you or if you are being forced into a small box where you cannot grow). However, be careful not to swap one bad leader for another by asking good questions to identify evidence of multiplier leadership:
How do they talk to their team?
How much ownership do they give their team?
Do they mention the strength of their team?
How do they make decisions?
Ask if you can sit in on a team meeting to better understand how the team works
STRATEGY 2: Multiplying Up - Diminishers can be desperate to feel valued for their intelligence and contribution while multipliers enjoy finding peoples genius and engaging it
Exploit your bosses strenghts: Utilize their knowledge and skills in ways that are most useful and help you learn and grow
Give them a user’s guide: Share your highest level of contribution and capabilities openly as well as how you can best be utilized while helping others to do the same (multiplier effect)
Listen to learn: Share ideas with confidence and back them up with data
Admit your mistakes: Ownership and accountability with mistakes results in shared learnings
Sign up for a stretch assignment: Speak up about your interest in taking on a challenge, showing your willingness to work beyond the scope of your role and encourage others to do the same
STRATEGY 3: Inspiring Multipler Leadership in Others
Assume positive intent: Explore good intentions to help interpret actions and behavior in others, even the diminishing leader
Celebrate progress: Recognize even the smallest acts of good leadership
Being underutilized or actively diminished can be difficult. It can be tempting to be triggered into a diminishing response (disapproval, disregard, disengagement, or shut down) OR you can break the downward spiral of diminishing leaders by asserting your capabilities and multiplying up.
The only diminisher you can change into a multiplier is yourself.
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” — Barack Obama
Listen to the Full Replay
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Resources
INBOUND 2022 - September 6th - 9th, 2022: INBOUND is an annual event, powered by HubSpot, that unites thought leaders from over 161 countries across marketing, sales, customer success, and revenue operations.
Tech Up For Women Conference San Diego - October 6, 2022:
Tech Up for Women believes tech knowledge is critical for every career journey. Join them for a one-day event to advance yourself through fast-moving topics to embrace new ideas and innovation.
Ted Women Online Event - October 24-28, 2022: An online festival offering interviews with leading women on change, on work, on rights, on joy and on the future.
Newsletters I read daily to stay informed and get inspired: The Hustle, Morning Brew, Seth Godin’s Blog, Atlas Obscura, Oprah Daily, Newsette
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