Disagreements are unavoidable and at some point, you will experience conflict. It is natural because we are human and people make mistakes, and emotions and ego can come into play. This can add complexities to our role as a leader, and if you mix in a little office politics, it can get dicey real quick!
These situations may not be avoidable, but there are ways to navigate these challenges and learn a lot along the way. This week in Learning to Lead LIVE on Clubhouse, we shared several tips, as well as worked through a few real-life scenarios. Here are the takeaways:
Focus on the work: Take a step back and assess the work and what’s necessary for the success of the group. This can help shift our perspective and ensure our judgement doesn’t get clouded by ego or emotion.
Communication: Assume good intent, and that everyone wants to do the right thing. Talk with the person involved (break bread or go get ice cream to diffuse) and be open to listening to their perspective.
Timeliness is important: Address the issue if needed in a timely manner, don’t let an issue linger or stew as that can make it worse. Alternately, be careful not to react too quickly if you need to cool down and process the situation.
You can’t fix everyone or everything: Accept that you may not be able to change every one or get along with everyone. You will instead have to find a way to work together and focus on the work.
Understand perspective and agenda: a critical piece to successful relationship building and communication is understanding the other person’s agenda. If you know where they are coming from, and what they care about you can work together to accomplish shared goals.
Real-life scenario #1: Someone wants to direct your work and act as your leader.
Spend time defining roles and focus the attention and conversation on the work at hand and goals. If needed work with others in your org and outside to gain guidance, but also demonstrate what you are doing. Playback conversations and commitments, verbally and in writing. Ask meaningful questions for clarity and to understand each other’s motivations.Real-life scenario #2: How can people navigate change across organizations.
Try to build your brand and establish relationships across your organization (your direct team and peer groups). Assess how each team is operating and where you can understand agendas and motivations. Focus on what the goal is and commit to measuring progress transparently. Be careful with escalation when teams are not getting along, it can cause more issues and reflect poorly on everyone involved, including you.Real-life scenario #3: Your leader is not giving you visibility.
Assess how you are communicating your goals and growth with your leader. If visibility is holding you back, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and need. Get involved outside of your direct work (communities, mentorships, task forces). This helps grow your personal brand, while also providing different paths to visibility. If you are not valued or invested in, go where you are valued, and that may mean finding a new leader.
This was a great conversation and I highly recommend listening to the replay.
In closing, I found a great story that has been going around social media. It resonated with me, and I shared it in the live discussion as well:
A father said to his daughter “for your graduation here is a car I brought many years ago. It’s pretty old now, but before I give it to you, take it to a used car dealership and ask how much they will give you to sell the car to them.”
The daughter returns and tells her father the used car dealer offered her $1000 because the car is pretty worn out. The father says “now take the car to a pawn shop and ask how much they will give you to sell the car to them.”
The daughter returns and says they offered her $100 because it is a really old car. The father says “now go join a car club and ask some people in the club what they will give you to sell the car.”
The daughter returns and says a few different people offered her $100,000 because the car is old but very rare. The father then said, “the lesson in this is: the right place values you right away. If you are not valued do not be angry, you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.”
Quote of the Week (funny)
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding. – Albert Einstein
Resources
Best Selling Books on Conflict resolutions: Seek understanding and expand your toolset with these books
3 Ted Talks on conflict resolution that benefits the workplace
Events
The Global Leadership Summit - February 11: Don’t miss this unique one-day transformational experience filled with business transformation strategies, leadership wisdom, world-class case studies, real-life experiences and best practices from Fortune 500 companies. Practical skills that you can apply on Monday morning.
The 2022 Virtual California Conference for Women - March 2, 2022: Renew. Reconnect. Re-ignite. Inspiration, Motivation, and Connection
WORLD WOMAN HOUR : 60 Women : 60 Stories : 60 Minutes - March 8, 2022: 60 women x 60 x stories x 60 ways to lead a socially powered movement to inspire one million women and girls to follow their dreams and ambition.
Learning to Lead LIVE
The full replay of the Learning to Lead LIVE discussion is available now on clubhouse.
Learning to Lead will be LIVE on Clubhouse next week (Saturday, February 12 @ 9:30 am PST). The topic will be announced on Wednesday (February 9) so be sure to subscribe!
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